I typically convey a peppy openness that makes it seem like I’m on top of the world. Well, I’m not and I haven’t been, but that’s not exactly what I want to talk about. Right now I think it is time for some Real Talk, both for myself and the writing industry.
When I self-published my first book in 2013 I was literally bankrupt. To everyone who bought my first few books in 2013-14: thank you SO MUCH. You have no idea what it meant to me on both a financial and spiritual level.
Fast forward ten years and while I have at least 25 books in the wild, I’ve never recaptured that early success because romance is a whirlwind parade of new releases and new enthusiasms. Could I write romantasy? Heck yeah, I pretty much accidentally did a few time back before I published. That’s what girls who grow up on D&D do. Can I do it right now on top of all of my other commitments? Apparently not, no…
More to the point, living the creative life and also keeping a day job is a perilous balance of stress and burnout. Heck, just living the creative life alone can be a recipe for burnout. Writing in general is rife with productivity demands, and the romance audience is even more voracious.
In 2014 I had to make the decision between accepting more responsibility with my day job, which was also the source of my good insurance, or trying to focus more on my writing. I made the decision to focus on the day job. Meanwhile, solidly in my 40s, I also started to experience health problems. More on that later.
For the first few years I could count on a three day weekend to write a novella, or a week of vacation time to complete the bulk of a novel. Alas, my capacity to write at 1,000 words an hour or to stay up all night began to wane. This was where the vicious cycle of ‘stress – burnout – health problems’ really began to rear its head. Through my connection to other authors on social media I knew that I wasn’t alone. The creative well goes dry for any number of reasons, but overwork and burnout is definitely deadly to it, and takes forever to recover from.
Because I’m a workaholic I’ve experienced burnout many times in my life. However, creative recovery requires something more, something deeper, than my accounting day job. When I burn out from my day job I just need a few days off, some extra sleep, a reduction in overtime for awhile. Refilling the creative well requires long stretches of quiet and contemplation. It requires consumption of others’ creative works. It requires nature and pets and light entertainment.
Unfortunately, on the way to the circus I took on even greater responsibility at my day job in 2023. The stress, both direct and ambient, for this position is even more than I expected. My stress at home remains intense. Unsurprisingly, 2024 included two scary hospital stays. Over the past year three of our elder dogs died and our new puppy has had more health problems than maybe all of our other pets combined. Medical bills for me and pup means financial stress on top of everything else.
Meanwhile, both my soul and bank account demand, “CREATE! CREATE!” I’ll no longer count readers on that list because I think they’ve mostly given up on me. Thank you to anyone who hasn’t.
What’s the point of all this? Creating is hard, yo. Modern American realities make it harder, stress makes it harder, health issues make it harder. To all of my writer friends suffering from same – you have my sympathies. To all of my readers wondering when my books will come out – you have my apologies, because I certainly don’t know. Sometime after I get to the end of the rainbow or finish my vision quest or whatever tf it is I need to do to be able to write more words. Trust me, no one is madder at me about how much my writing productivity has slowed down than me, but that only causes more problems than it solves.
Here’s hoping for improved health for all of us. If you’re wondering how to help you can tell me something good in the comments or on social media (I love uplifting stories) or recommend my books to your friends.
Sue London, Author 